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| Stabbed in the Back | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 22 2008, 03:51 AM (1,118 Views) | |
| * Ben14 | Jul 22 2008, 03:51 AM Post #1 |
 
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Has anybody here ever been betrayed by a friend they thought they were really close with? Possibly even a best friend? If not, you're fortunate, but those who have know it hurts worse than anything else. I'll give a personal example. I was a typical immature teenager going into my Sophomore year of high school. I followed my friends no matter what they did to fit in. I was afraid of being cast outside and being a "loner". So much that I actually lowered myself to the level of my peers just to please them. It was pretty sad, actually. I had a few close friends in the group, but the rest of the entire group were just people I'd casually met and didn't entirely care about, just like I knew they didn't care about me. Things kept up that way for the first quarter of Sophmore year. Then, completely out of the blue, one of the few people in the group I could relate to decided that he hated me to a point that he wanted me completely gone. Within a week (not exaggerating), the entire group of people seperated themselves from me. To this day I don't know why the guy decided to cast me out of the group, and it still remains the most painful thing I've ever felt. I hate him for it, and thank him at the same time. I started doing a lot more by myself since that group wanted nothing to do with me, and was the exact kind of loner I never wanted to be. This went on for weeks, and during those weeks I was conflicted by internal confusion and anger towards the people I had considered my "friends". Then, as a finishing blow, on Halloween of that year, a group of about 5 people lead by the guy who started it all egged my house. I honestly don't think I can ever feel worse than I did after that. I continued to do things by myself, and after I got over the shell-shock of being betrayed, I realized I had matured so much to the point where after a while I would look at the group of guys I used to hang out with and not feel an ounce of remorse for what had happened. I started becoming an entirely new person, and after I got over my own self-pity started meeting new groups of people, and branching out more than I had ever done before, to the point where I was nothing but myself. I guess in the end what goes around really does come around. I went months without talking to anybody in that group, and by the end of the year the entire group (save a very small portion) felt horrible about what happened. Maybe I'm too nice and forgiving a person for my own good, but I forgave every one of them. Except for one. So what happened to the person I considered one of my best friends? What happened to the one guy who stabbed me in the back and hurt me worse than anything else I'd ever felt before? Every morning at school I can look across the cafeteria and see him, and his two emo buddies, sitting in a corner. At first I hated him so much, it was indescribable. I honestly wanted to hurt him, it was almost scary. Now, I pity him. I feel sorry for him, and it's hard for me to explain, but when that group came back to me after I matured the way I did it felt great. Not only that, but I'd met so many new people since I went off on my own that no longer did I have to act under a false persona to fit in, but I could just be normal and still have fun. As for my old "friend", I don't think he's got much to speak for. Although, as much as I pity him, and used to hate him, I still have to thank him because it completely transformed me into a more confident person. I don't sit by myself anymore...ever...but it was a long process to rebuild the confidence that I lost. I don't care if you read the bulk of this post, but I'm still interested to see if this kind of thing happens on a regular basis to people in their adolescent years. Please be open too, I pretty much poured my heart into this. |
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Jul 22 2008, 04:06 AM Post #2 |
Worst Member of the Year
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It was actually good, sounded realistic.. sounded like you put time into writing it.. really didn't sound like an attention at all. It's as if you were teaching someone a lesson. I remeber high school.. fun times. I didn't have many friends myself at the high school I attended as I was transferred from my previous school and I never bothered making friends in the high school which I spent my final year therefore I can relate to an extent.. which was sitting alone at times in class.. Lunch time was a different story as I either ditched the school and went to my friends and chilled or just went out for lunch with people I knew. But *****, if someone egged my house I would do something about it. But yeah high school, those were *****ed up times. Once I remeber this kid was about to hit me acorss the head with a pipe, over 2 year ago. We met last week and shook hands and talked about Italian soccer.* *lmao.. i just HAD to say that right. edit: usually being alone makes you stronger.. unless you spend it getting stoned and playing video games, bah you know what i mean.. Edited by .Punxx, Jul 22 2008, 04:08 AM.
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| * Ben14 | Jul 22 2008, 05:38 AM Post #3 |
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Believe me, this is something I wouldn't want attention for. I'm naturally a nice person though, so it wasn't in me to try to get "revenge" for them egging my house. And I honestly laughed when I saw the Italian soccer comment.  Nice addition.
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| * brit :) | Jul 22 2008, 07:00 AM Post #4 |
boomboompow.
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Yeah I have been stabbed in the back, recently actually. I went on for nearly my whole sophomore year, living a lie. Believing this person was a good friend of mine. Well not really a good friend, but I hoped we could progress to that over time.I did notice subtle signs however. He was always quiet when I was around, and he only came to me when I needed something... I thought I was worrying too much however, and brushed the thoughts off. Near the end of the year the signs became more apparent when he only came to me for money and other small things... It was kinda bugging me. I told my other friend about it, and my friend flat out said that he didn't like me to begin with and basically was using me the whole time. I was shocked and I felt stupid for being to oblivious to notice that someone was actually stabbing me in the back... It kinda hurt... But you get stronger from things like that, I suppose. I have. |
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dART chaleureuse. chic. createuse. douce. leave me something nice. | |
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| + Byakko | Jul 22 2008, 08:30 AM Post #5 |
I once gave a Kangaroo a heart-attack just by staring at it
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Yeah it's happened to me before. I was in first year of high school (freshman? in american terms?) and I was placed into a class in which I knew 1 person. It wasn't a big class. And there was people less fortunate than me. People from Different areas all together. We were the class that nobody wanted. The 1 guy I knew, albiet didn't really care about. Cast me out. Which I did to him. So I was alone. In a class of 18 other people. Without knowing anybody. My old friends had deserted me. So this went on for a few months really. And soon I had found myself within another group of Two. One of them was the "cool guy" of the class. And the other was his friend. And to this day I think his friend is 100x the person that he will ever be. But on with the story. The "Cool" Guy would come out with all these ridiculous stories. And expect me to listen to them. From the start. I honestly didn't like him. Yet I didn't want to "Buddy" myself with the one I knew would be my friend. And later lead me on to other friends who I can trust. The Bullsh*t stories would be like. He gets wasted every day. Comes to school after having Crack. Getting his Grandparents stoned. You get the Picture. Well. After one incedant in school That I won't go into out of shame since it was my fault. And the worst thing I've ever done. I was aloud to switch classes. Put into a class with my own friends. Surrounded by people who care about my opinion. And don't spoon feed me bullcrap stories. I, like you BlackOut. Look across from him, and his Emo buddies in some classes. There's 3 of them. And you should see them, honestly. It's the funniest thing you can see. You've got the skinny lanky tall guy. Who is only in that group because of their "Band" - Gone on for 8 months and not done anything haha. Then there's the Bassist. He's jusst like the cool guy. 2 foot tall. Only he's not emo. He was cool. But it's his loss. And lastly. There's this "Cool" guy. He's still got "friends" but he knows that everybody else hated them. And I've branched out. Became myself. And Whilst not surrounded by friends. I still have a good number of people who I can talk to about stuff I like. I guess, when you hang around with people You Know, you don't belong with. You long for a reason to be shunned. And 95% of the time. It's for the better. It's a life experience. Like you're told to go for smart people. But you have to learn for yourself that Smart is better than looks. You can't just Know. You need to learn it. And better to learn Sooner rather than Later. Right? I've done a lot of stuff I've regreted. And While that first Year and High School was terrible. I've realised. That even in a small - in comparison to some American High Shools - School, Being yourself will get you more friends than trying to be something you're not. --- Wow. Long post much? |
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GFX Portfolio Tumblr DeviantArt  Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'" | |
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| sunate | Jul 22 2008, 01:19 PM Post #6 |
 
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Pssh....I used to be hated by every one I knew and its like they tried to be my friend then saw how it made me happy and then they would do stuff to me like tell me to do stupid stuff just so they could laugh at me but now that was a good almost 3 years ago. I just be myself and do what I want to do reguardless what anybody thinks. I've got a good head on my shoulders these days. |
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| Meowth | Jul 22 2008, 02:09 PM Post #7 |
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Most of my good friends at school where always good friends, though I was never in a populare circle of friends, nor where my friends really so we generally got on in that sence, lol. I still know a lot of my good friends now, though none from before secondary school anymore. I did have a few firends but not what I considered good friends, though I treat all my friends the same. One of them was really quite annoying but I always put up with it even though he'd get upset over losing at a game and such and thinking he was the best at everything, but eh, he's changed a lot now and I've lost contact with him. One other friend I knew at that time seemed to be jelous of something I had, so one day, he decided to steal it from me, since then, I've never had any contact with him, but that's as far as it goes, I try to choose my friends well. |
 
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Jul 28 2008, 08:33 PM Post #8 |
~Out on the Tiles~
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Prediction One: Within five years you'll look back on this statement and laugh your head off. Prediction Two: The next thing to take the title of "most painful thing I've ever felt" will be done by a lover, not a best friend. This is not to belittle your feelings. Far from it -- in fact, from your post it sounds to me like you've handled the situation perfectly. But I can also all-but-guarantee you that within a year or two of graduation there will be new events in your life -- good AND bad -- that utterly dwarf any realignments of high school cliques. (And within a year or two of THAT will come experiences to dwarf THOSE.)
Yes, it absolutely does. But the important thing to remember -- and the thing that I would tell myself if I could go back in time to meet myself in high school -- is just how little all this high school social crap matters. So have some fun with it if you can, and don't let it drive you to the brink. This is nothing but the practice round. |
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| * -Zero- | Jul 28 2008, 09:02 PM Post #9 |
Black Knight
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Bad things are good, you learn from there and make yourself stronger out of them. Always remember that, don't feel sorry for yourself, just learn from it and make yourself stronger. High School is only the beginning of something small as Haze said. Though I wouldn't know much since I just graduated I'm sure I have yet a lot more painful things to go through in life. I wasted so many years of high school with so many useless thoughts, I'm beginning to regret it all. Thats all I'll say for now. Sorry but I typically don't post things about my life, I don't like attention nor sympathy since I see them as weakness, but thats not the reason why im not posting since no one else here is looking for attention here. I said this before and will say it many times again I'll just keep it in the shadows lol Remember to always be yourself no matter what. The moment you try to act as someone else, it's the moment you mess it up Edited by -Zero-, Jul 28 2008, 09:02 PM.
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 Thanks to Kid Buu for the sig! The story where DBZF Members are the characters! DBZF:The Unknown Conspiracy POSITIVE ZERO PRODUCTIONS ZeroGuild Forum! | |
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| * Ben14 | Jul 30 2008, 01:28 AM Post #10 |
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Thanks Haze. Yeah that makes a lot of sense and I'm glad you brought that up. It's something I started to realize after all the crap happened, but by that point things had started to go back to normal. And SS, nobody WANTS attention for stuff like this (at least I don't). There were some girls that would come up and ask me, "Hey why aren't you with [insert "friend's" name here]?" I'd make up some bull***** because I didn't want anybody to know what was really going on. It sucks. But being able to open up about it is good. I think so anyways. Edited by Ben14, Jul 30 2008, 01:28 AM.
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| * Mitas | Jul 30 2008, 09:49 AM Post #11 |
It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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The reason why people post their problems and talk about them isn't to get attention (in most cases), it's to make them easier to deal with or to put in the past. As for being stabbed in the back, it hasn't happened to me yet but I feel as though it will happen soon. In my group of friends there is this one guy who you might call a "serial back-stabber". There have been two occasions when one of our friends has really liked a girl and the guy in question has pretended to help them get the girl and stuff, when he was secretly texting them and turning them away from the guys who liked them. In both cases we found out that he and the two girls ended up in a relationship. However, we did not cast him from the group. Now I feel as if the exact same thing is happening, but this time with the girl I like. I'm pretty sure if I don't say anything it will happen again, but I don't want to say anything in case I have gotten it wrong. I think if the same thing does happen again, which I'm hopefully going to sort out before it does, then it will be his last chance because we've already given him enough chances. Like Haze said earlier; a lot of back stabbing is likely to center around girls, even if a lot of the time they're oblivious to it
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Jul 30 2008, 08:41 PM Post #12 |
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~Out on the Tiles~
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Society at large is pathetic. The prospect of being on their own actually scares the ***** out of most People. |
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| * -Zero- | Jul 30 2008, 09:41 PM Post #13 |
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Black Knight
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I think you guys got me wrong, I do know no one in here is looking for attention, thats ussualy other people and those people that look for attention keep bringing it up and dragging it on, and on, and on and won't let go. However I'm not exactly the type to say much about myself lol
Edited by -Zero-, Jul 30 2008, 09:42 PM.
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Thanks to Kid Buu for the sig! The story where DBZF Members are the characters! DBZF:The Unknown Conspiracy POSITIVE ZERO PRODUCTIONS ZeroGuild Forum! | |
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| * Ben14 | Jul 30 2008, 11:45 PM Post #14 |
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@ Haze: When you think about it, it is kinda sad. I didn't think so at the time, of course. @ Snake: Yeah maybe I targeted you too personally. I meant more in a general sense I don't think anybody would post here for attention, because nobody wants attention for that sort of thing. |
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| Kaiyan | Aug 17 2008, 11:15 AM Post #15 |
 
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The last two years of highschool I became "friends" with this guy. He was short for his age and got picked on a lot for that reason. Those years I was possibly the only one he had that didn't make fun of him just to hurt him. Of course I made some remarks sometimes (because I was quite tall) but it was in a friendly way and he knew that. So I helped him get through school by letting him be with me and not be picked on and I even introduced him to people to make new friends. Two years I had him around me and then when he got more convident he got cocky and suddenly didn't need me anymore. He went back to his old friends (the ones that always made fun of him) and soon found out that even that he had changed they didn't. He was still getting picked on. Later we were on speaking terms again and we were talking about why he was always picked on (because it wasn't just his length). And then suddenly he said he was going to therapy for it and said I was partially responsible! I was really insulted by that, I had been one of the few people in school that accepted him and then suddenly he blaimed me for all kinds of things. I never really spoke to him after that I didn't want to see him anymore and that will never change. |
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